8 Wedding rules that can be broken-

Tradition has always dictated that the bride’s family pays for the wedding  and the groom’s family pays for the honeymoon. But because of the recent  recession, that’s not necessarily the case anymore. “Oftentimes the actual  funding for the wedding, the expenses, are taken care of by a slew of people as  opposed to only the bride’s family,” says Lizzie Post, spokeswoman for the Emily Post Institute and  great-great-granddaughter of etiquette expert Emily Post. “You want to honor the  tradition by allowing the bride’s family to take the reins if they want to, but  [the groom’s family should] honor the new custom by offering.” Photo: Creatas  / Thinkstock

2. Your wedding party can include all ages and genders.

 

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A male maid of honor, a female best man, grandma as the flower girl—your  wedding party is just that, yours; there should be no restrictions. “Platonic  friendships nowadays are crossing the gender barrier, so it’s not a problem at  all if the bride would like a gentleman standing up at her side; she’s more than  welcome to,” Post says. “And even the couple’s family [can be included]. There  are people who ask their mother to be the matron of honor or ask their  grandmother to participate. So it’s nice to see that’s opened up a lot and  people are embracing it.” Photo: Rob Melnychuk / Getty Images

3. Guests no longer have a full year to buy a gift.

 

guests no longer have to bring a gift

Unfortunately this one might mean a few of us are in trouble! Unlike in years  past, you no longer have up to a full year from the wedding to buy the bride and  groom a gift. The appropriate time line is now “three months, so it definitely  is something you want to try to get done as soon as possible,” Post says. “Your  friends would be thrilled if a year later you sent them a gift; it’s never too  late. But three months gives you enough time, especially now with the ability to  just click on an online registry.” Photo: Shutterstock

4. You can decline to be in the wedding party.

You’ve been in five weddings this year, and with the cost of the dresses,  travel and gifts, you’re broke. So if another dear friend asks you to join their  wedding party, it’s more than OK to politely decline. Just explain why in a  heartfelt way. “Many modern brides really understand with the travel and  distance [usually involved], but it’s all in how you do it,” Post says. “Say, ‘I  love you so much and I want to be there to support you, but right now being a  bridesmaid is not something I can commit to. Is there another way I can help you  on your big day? I know it’s so important to show you how much I love you.’ Make  the bride know you do want to commit to it, but you can’t.” Photo:  Cultura/Zero Creatives / Getty Images

5. It’s acceptable to ask for gift cards or cash.

Nowadays, with family and friends living across the country and at various  stages in their lives, it’s definitely acceptable for a bride and groom to ask  for gift cards or cash. “It’s a great way to make it convenient for the guests  and easy on them. I don’t think it’s tacky,” Post says. Whereas you can ask for  gift cards on your registry, as far as cash, just be polite about it. “You  usually want to spread it by word of mouth. You definitely don’t want to put  ‘cash only’ on your website and you never put it on your invitation,” Post  adds. Photo: Shutterstock

6. The groom can see the bride in her wedding dress before the  ceremony.

 

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Superstition has it that it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride dressed  in white before she walks down the aisle. But a lot of couples are kicking this  to the curb for some alone time and a better photo op beforehand. “If the bride  and groom are very traditional, they won’t see each other before the ceremony.  But photographers will encourage it because the bride’s makeup is fresh and her  hair is done so they can get a lot more photos done before the ceremony,” says  Elizabeth Todd, wedding coordinator at Blackstone Country Club in Peoria,  Arizona. “Afterward, they can take a few family shots and enjoy the cocktail  hour.” Photo: Shutterstock

7. Men can take or leave the wedding ring.

 

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Depending on where you grew up, there was probably a pretty clear norm  regarding whether or not husbands wore a wedding ring. But nowadays it’s really  up to the groom—as long as his bride is fine with his decision. “I think it’s  totally a personal choice. I know some people choose to tattoo the ring on their  finger,” Post says. “It’s a new option.” Photo: Shutterstock

8. You don’t have to do a wedding cake for dessert.

 

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Maybe Cupcake Wars is responsible for this one—more and more often,  modern couples are eschewing the traditional multi-tiered wedding cake and  opting for cupcakes, or sometimes a dessert bar. “It’s fun for the bride and  groom to switch things up for dessert because not everyone likes wedding cake.  It’s also more fun for little kids; it’s easy to eat, less messy,” Todd says.  “[The bride and groom will] just do a smaller cake to cut for pictures and then  after that’s over, guests know they can go ahead and dig into the dessert bar.” Photo: Shutterstock