Dear Jenny,

My father and his partner very kindly offered to host our wedding reception in their back garden. They agreed to pay for the marquee, food and booze which was amazingly kind of them. We were going to have our reception in a hotel where, after the meal, we would have had a pay bar – free booze for 80 guests over 7 hours is not in our budget!

However, I am a bit worried that my father has underestimated the amount of wine we will need. I have worked out that there is 2.5 glasses each of Prosecco for the first two hours and I have removed non-drinkers from that equation. I don’t know how much wine he has bought and I don’t know how to broach the subject. More booze is out of our budget but we will buy some more if we have to rather than running out on our special day and in a venue that is in the middle of nowhere!

How do I go about sorting this out without offence being caused?

Mimi x

Hi Mimi,

I love a back garden wedding! How generous of your Dad to host too, it sounds as though you are feeling a little anxious about the whole thing so you need to find the strength to be diplomatic, and approach him to discuss the finer details.

You can use this opportunity to be assertive, mature, and build on your relationship with your Father. He is doing a very generous thing by hosting and taking the heat financially off of you guys, but there is an element of relinquishing control that most Brides to be find challenging. And rightly so, your nearest and dearest will be there celebrating with you so its understandable you don’t want to run out of drink, or toilet paper for that matter!

How much has he involved you in things so far? Surely the vendors providing the food and booze will have given him a good guide on what will be consumed? Will there be a bar provided by the marquee or food vendors? I think for the sake of your sanity, you need to suggest you get together and discuss the finer details. You will need to decide on a menu at some point, and you can work the booze into the conversation that way. Make sure he knows that in no way do you want to offend him, but that you are worried about running out of booze. I believe honesty is the best policy, as long as you approach the subject with respect and love then how could he possibly be offended? It’s hard to plan a wedding, with so much to consider and organise, I think you perhaps need some reassurance from him that he’s got it all under control, which I’m sure he has, it’s a big event afterall!

Be brave and talk to him. Just explain how certain aspects of this wedding planning malarky has you feeling a little frazzled and you want to get a grip on everything, just for peace of mind. It’s like ripping of a band aid, once you have done it you will feel better! And it will mean you can focus on other things, and start to really look forward to your wedding!

Wishing you the very best of luck,

Love

Jenny x